Booboos, Not Boobies: An Unexpected Bedtime Conversation
One night, Twin A and I were snuggled up in the guest bed for story time. I tried reading a book or two, but I could tell he wasn't interested.
Instead, he poked my boob and asked:
"What's this?"
Curious kid
I immediately replied, "Those are Mommy's. Don't touch."
I thought I could deflect, but it didn't work.
Naturally, his next question was:
"Why?"
I tried to give as little information as possible while still satisfying a four-year-old's curiosity.
"These are boobies, and they're private, so you can't touch them."
He repeated it back thoughtfully.
"Booboos?"
At that point, I decided booboos was close enough. Honestly, I'd much rather hear him yell "booboos" across Target than "boobies."
"Yeah... sure. Booboos."
Then he looked down at his own chest.
"Do I have booboos?"
"No, only girls have booboos."
"Why?"
I remember thinking, Are we seriously doing this right now? I was exhausted, my back was killing me, and I just wanted story time to be over so everyone could go to sleep.
I was ready for bed, he was just getting started
So I answered as simply as I could.
"Because mommies use them to feed babies. You know how you drink milk from a cup?"
"Yeah."
"Well, babies can't. They're too little."
He pointed at them.
"There's milk in there?"
"No."
"Why?"
"There was milk in there when you were a baby, but Mommy doesn't have a baby right now, so there's no milk."
He giggled loudly and pointed at my chest.
"You have a baby in your booboos!"
"No, silly. Babies grow in a mommy's belly. After they're born, mommies can feed them with their booboos."
He thought about that for a minute.
"Do I have a baby in my belly?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because you're a boy. Only girls can grow babies."
Without missing a beat, he confidently replied:
"You have a baby in your belly!"
I laughed and thought, I wish.
When curiosity calls it a night
And just like that, the conversation was over.
He got the information he wanted and moved on with his life.
The funny thing is, none of it was awkward to him. It was only slightly awkward for me because I got caught off guard. I always knew I'd have to answer these kinds of questions someday. I just didn't know when.
Growing up, nobody talked about our bodies. Anything related to private parts was considered a taboo topic. Those conversations were usually avoided until kids were much older. For me, I think my mom decided to withhold that information until I got married. 😂
The problem is that kids are curious whether we answer their questions or not.
If we don't answer them, they'll eventually get information from friends, older kids, television, or the internet. I'd much rather my boys learn from me because I trust that I'll answer in a way that honors their bodies and why God made them.
Speaking of that, some moms in my church recommended the book God Made All of Me, and honestly, it helped me realize I'm more ready for these conversations than I thought. One thing it reminded me is that answering a child's question doesn't mean explaining everything all at once.
For a four-year-old, I simply answer the question he's asking, refraining from overcomplicating it.
I let him guide the conversation.
That way he doesn't feel overwhelmed with information he isn't ready to process yet. Honestly, giving too much information too soon can have the opposite effect. Instead of making them feel comfortable coming to us with questions, it can make the conversation feel confusing or awkward.
I don't need to give a full biology lesson. I just want my boys to know they can come to me with any and all kinds of questions. I may not always give the full scientific explanation, but I'll give them an answer that makes sense for their age while satisfying what they're actually trying to understand.
I'd much rather build trust one conversation at a time than overwhelm them with information they didn't ask for.
Because if talking about our bodies is normal when they're little, my hope is they'll keep coming to me when the questions become more age-appropriate.
And when those conversations come, I want them to understand that their bodies aren't something to be ashamed of. God created them with purpose, and every part of them was designed intentionally.
What helped me...
A few moms in my church recommended God Made All of Me, and honestly, it made me feel a lot less awkward about these conversations. It gave me the confidence I needed to answer my children's questions in an age-appropriate way without overcomplicating them.
If you're raising little ones and looking for a helpful resource, you can find it here:
God Made All of Me
https://bookshop.org/a/116132/9781942572305
This is an affiliate link, which means I may earn a small commission if you purchase through it at no additional cost to you.